Max had to form his body around my big belly so I could read him a book. I was treating every moment I had with him like it was the last. He was such a baby...sitting in the chair with me cuddling. I miss that. I knew it could be any day when I would leave him as my only child and come home with another baby and everything would be different.
Mallory was born a few days after that picture was taken and of course everything WAS different. Now I don't really remember what it was like without her. We wonder all the time what Max would be like if she weren't around. Most of his "issues" stem from having a little sister. Every time he gets a time out its because he pushed her or knocked her down or rolled over her or took a toy from her. He has no issues with behavior or sharing or anything at school (as far as we know) and he is also pretty good when he is alone with one parent. But when its all 4 of us, he does anything and everything for our attention and that usually means acting out, yelling, screaming, whining, being mean. Its not fun. I guess it makes sense though.
I can't believe she is going to be 1 this week. I am getting really sad about it. A year ago I was so excited to meet her (didn't even know she was a her) and now here we are only one year later and I know that any day now she'll turn into a toddler and have her own little opinions and be walking allover the house and not want me to hold her and kiss her all day long. I'm sure at some point she'll throw food on the floor and whine about things and say "NO". I just can't believe she is already almost out of the "baby" stage. I also know that any day now will be the last time I nurse her. That in itself just makes me want to cry. Anyone who has nursed a baby (and liked it) knows what I'm talking about. And its the last time (probably) ever so that makes it even more emotional. Just sad. Every night now I just stare at her and think...this might be the last time, just enjoy it and remember what it was like. Soon that bedtime routine will just be a memory.
Alot of my friends are pregnant with their second now and I am so jealous of them that they haven't even started the first year! There is nothing more exciting and it just makes me kind of sad to think that that part of my life is probably over.
Ok that was a depressing few paragraphs so here is an upper....we got through the first year with 2 kids less than 2 years apart and we are still alive! We have so many happy memories to look back on from this first year. They are both adorable and healthy and sweet and although they have their challenges (one more than the other at this point in time) I wouldn't change anything about them. I am so lucky to be their mommy.
Mallory's party is next week and although I may have gotten caught up in the details as I always do, I am going to just try to have fun for that hour and a half when our friends and family are here to celebrate her first year. I want to enjoy seeing her in her birthday outfit and relax while I watch her play and eat cake and be the birthday girl! She gets hit on the head every day and never gets to play without getting toys taken away from her and she is still the happiest little girl so...she deserves a party and I'm giving it to her whether she knows it or not!
Here I am on my third mothers day with the two that made me a mommy:
Happy Mother's Day!!
1 comment:
So sweet!! and that picture of Mallory in the pink pjs... I would have sworn it was baby Max dressed up in girls pjs! they don't always look a lot alike in pics, but they do there!
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